Quick Change (1990 Bill Murray as Grimm)
[to construction workers, sarcastically]
Grimm: I want to thank you. You could've given us help, but you've given us so much more.
Street Sign Worker: [cheerfully] Hey! What's what we're here for, huh?
Chief Rotzinger : Listen, I've had just about enough of your comedy, clown. We're coming in through the plate glass.
Grimm : Alright, I gotta hang-up now, because I gotta go kill everybody.
Rushmore (1998 Murray as Herman Blume)
Max Fischer : I like your nurse's uniform, guy.
Dr. Peter Flynn : These are O.R. scrubs.
Max Fischer : Oh, are they?
Max Fischer : So tell me Curly, how do you know Miss Cross?
Dr. Peter Flynn : We went to Harvard together.
Max Fischer : Oh that's great. I wrote a hit play and directed it, so I'm not sweating it either.
Herman Blume : Why did you ask me to come here?
Max Fischer : Oh, I was going to drop that tree on you.
Herman Blume : That big one?
Max Fischer : Yeah.
Herman Blume : It would've flattened me like a pancake.
Ghostbusters (1984 Murray as Dr. Venkman)
Dr. Peter Venkman : This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor : What do you mean, "biblical"?
Dr. Raymond Stantz : What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman : Exactly.
Dr. Raymond Stantz : Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling.
Dr. Egon Spengler : Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston Zeddemore : The dead rising from the grave.
Dr. Peter Venkman : Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.
Dr. Egon Spengler : There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman : What?
Dr. Egon Spengler : Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman : Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler : It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman : I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean "bad"?
Dr. Egon Spengler : Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr. Raymond Stantz : Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman : That's bad. Okay. Alright, important safety tip, thanks Egon.
Dr. Raymond Stantz : Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck : They caused an explosion!
Mayor : Is this true?
Dr. Peter Venkman : Yes it's true.
[pause]
Dr. Peter Venkman : This man has no dick.
Walter Peck : Jeez!
[Charges at Venkman]
Mayor : Break it up! Hey, break this up! Break it up!
Walter Peck : Alright, alright, alright!
Dr. Peter Venkman : Well that's what I heard!
What About Bob ? (1991 – Murray as Bob Wiley)
Dr. Leo Marvin : Are you married?
Bob Wiley : I'm divorced.
Dr. Leo Marvin : Would you like to talk about that?
Bob Wiley : There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him.
Siggy : I mean, my dad just dropped me in the water. He let me go with no warning. I mean, I nearly drowned. My whole life passed before my eyes.
Bob Wiley : You're lucky you're only 12.
Siggy : It was still grim.
Casino (1995 Robert Deniro as ‘Ace’, Joe Pesci as ‘Nicky’)
Ace Rothstein : [narrating] Nicky's methods of betting weren't scientific, but they worked. When he won, he collected. When he lost, he told the bookies to go fuck themselves. I mean, what were they going to do, muscle Nicky? Nicky was the muscle.
Nicky Santoro : A lot of holes in the desert, and a lot of problems are buried in those holes. But you gotta do it right. I mean, you gotta have the hole already dug before you show up with a package in the trunk. Otherwise, you're talking about a half-hour to forty-five minutes worth of digging. And who knows who's gonna come along in that time? Pretty soon, you gotta dig a few more holes. You could be there all fuckin' night.
Nicky Santoro : I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning ill get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your fuckin' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your fuckin' head open again. 'Cause I'm fuckin' stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do.
Goodfellas (1990 – Ray Liotta as Henry Hill, Deniro as Jimmy Conway, Pesci as Tommy)
Henry Hill : [voice-over] Anything I wanted was a phone call away. Free cars. The keys to a dozen hideout flats all over the city. I bet twenty, thirty grand over a weekend and then I'd either blow the winnings in a week or go to the sharks to pay back the bookies.
[Henry leaves the witness stand and speaks directly to the camera]
Henry Hill : Didn't matter. It didn't mean anything. When I was broke, I'd go out and rob some more. We ran everything. We paid off cops. We paid off lawyers. We paid off judges. Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking. And now it's all over.
Henry Hill : [voice-over] That's the hardest part. Today everything is different. There's no action. I have to wait around like everyone else. Can't even get decent food. Right after I got here I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.
Jimmy Conway : I'm not mad, I'm proud of you. You took your first pinch like a man and you learn two great things in your life. Look at me, never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut.
Tommy DeVito : He said, "No, you're gonna tell me something today, tough guy." I said, "All right, I'll tell you something: go fuck your mother."
Tommy DeVito : But, I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?
Tommy DeVito : Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.
My Cousin Vinny (1992 Pesci as Vinny, Marisa Tomei as Lisa)
Vinny Gambini : I understand you played a game of pool with Lisa for two hundred dollars, which she won. I'm here to collect.
J.T. : How 'bout I just kick your ass.
Vinny Gambini : Oh a counter offer. That's what we lawyers, I'm a lawyer... we lawyers call that a counter offer. This is a tough decision you give me here. Get my ass kicked or collect two hundred dollars. I could use a good ass-kickin', I'll be perfectly honest with you... nah, I think I'll just go with the two hundred.
J.T. : Over my dead body.
Vinny Gambini : You like to renegotiate as you go along, don't you? Well here's my counter offer... do I have to kill you? What if I were just to kick the ever loving shit out of you?
J.T. : YOU kick the shit outta ME... in your dreams.
Vinny Gambini : Oh no no... in reality. If I kick the shit out of you, do I get the money?
Lisa : Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing around. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the clear water - BAM. A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask you, do you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearing?
[Opening statements]
Vinny Gambini : Yeah, everything that guy just said is bullshit... Thank you.
D.A. Jim Trotter : Objection.
Judge Chamberlain Haller : Sustained. Counselor's entire opening statement, with the exception of 'Thank you' will be stricken from the record.
Judge Chamberlain Haller : Mr. Gambini, didn't I tell you that the next time you appear in my court that you dress appropriately?
Vinny Gambini : You were serious about that?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vinny Gambini : How could it take you 5 minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes?
Mr. Tipton : Um... I'm a fast cook, I guess.
Vinny Gambini : You're a fast cook? Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than any place on the face of the earth?
Mr. Tipton : I don't know.
Vinny Gambini : Perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove. Were these magic grits? Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?
Vinny Gambini : It is possible that the two utes...
Judge Chamberlain Haller : ...Ah, the two what? Uh... uh, what was that word?
Vinny Gambini : Uh... what word?
Judge Chamberlain Haller : Two what?
Vinny Gambini : What?
Judge Chamberlain Haller : Uh... did you say "utes"?
Vinny Gambini : Yeah, two utes.
Judge Chamberlain Haller : What is a ute?
[beat]
Vinny Gambini : Oh, excuse me, Your Honor...
[exaggerated]
Vinny Gambini : two YOUTHS.
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